I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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