An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I supernannyed him into submission
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize