Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My Higher Power is John Stamos
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
