hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
