I wish my penis had an off switch
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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