We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
