He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize