At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize