Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
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In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.