Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!