he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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