brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.