It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
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You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder