i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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