Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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