who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
