i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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