Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
sex in a hospital.. check
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize