yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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