Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
