THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
