Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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