i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I had to cum in my sink.
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