What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
