she woke up with a sticky ear
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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