did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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