Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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