What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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