I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
