I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
