Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
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I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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