Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"