i permit you to call me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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