So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.