Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?