If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
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he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.