I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
