Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
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So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.