Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
