forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize