This is not my ceiling
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
