Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
