so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
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do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
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I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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