Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
