you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
