Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize