I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
