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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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