I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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