And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
