well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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