This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
