He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
