This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am mentally ready for anal.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
