WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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