9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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