I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
