Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
