You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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