Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
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So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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