Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have demons in me.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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