And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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