Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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