I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
