So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
