I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
